LIFE

I have not been consistent with blogging. Maybe you’ve encountered a similar obstacle: LIFE.

It’s a beautiful gift to be alive, but sometimes things get overwhelming.

Here’s our most recent life change: our oldest daughter graduated from high school and is heading off to college soon. Big changes!

We’ve also had multiple injuries this year and while that isn’t something I want to focus on, it does play a huge part of my time–I’ve spent the hours of a part-time job in doctor’s offices the last six months.

I’ve struggled with what to write about because you can search the internet and find a blog or comment about any topic under the sun, so I don’t want to write just to write. It doesn’t mean much if there isn’t intentionality behind it. Deep down we are all yearning for and longing for something that will make a difference in our lives–something that says, you’ve got to read this!

So here is the truth: I’m a fake.

I’ve created a false self and now my real self is really tired.

Yes, we actually do have cattle and I’m not a 40-year-old living in the basement of my parents’ condo. Not that kind of fake.

Fake in that I have tried to create a version of myself that doesn’t get tired or frustrated or hungry. Not because those things are bad, but because they slow me down.

Fake in that I will try to help out anywhere I can because I truly want to love people, when I have committed to things that just weren’t me.

Fake.

I really try to be authentic. Authenticity is my buzz word. Yet I don’t want you to know if I’m scared or nervous because you might reject me.

And rejection isn’t something any of us want.

Although it might be something we all need.

Can you imagine if everyone accepted us? Our circles would be too large and our commitments overwhelming. Maybe rejection is therapeutic.

What else can cause us to figure out who we really are and be strong in it? It’s usually the no’s that push us on to search for creative solutions–not the yes’s.

Yet it’s an ugly word, rejection. It means someone didn’t want me. That hurts.

Yet for every one that rejects, there are more that affirm. I must focus on the affirmations, the hope, the joys and not the disappointments.

Life does happen. Accidents. Busyness. Life changes.

Yet surprises and rejection can also refine our focus and help us zero in on what is really important.

You know what’s really important? Life. Not the stuff, the commitments, the titles. Just breathing in and out. It truly is a gift.

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