Hi Friends,

New Years is a time to reflect on how the past year went and what we are looking forward to in the coming year.

But I don’t want to do that.

Maybe that sounds childish, but the past year was intense. I had goals that were “oh-so-close,” but slipped away like a calf under a fence. I had goals that I accomplished.

I follow a lot of people who are posting year-end reviews about their accomplishments and all that God did this year–and I think these are awesome! I applaud my friends’ efforts and I truly am excited for them. Honest.

I just don’t want to count everything that did or didn’t happen this year because it would look something like this:

Year End Review:

• Got dressed and got moving every day. Except when I was sick, which was more than in previous years, but has been better in the last 6 weeks.
• Fed my family.
• Prayed.
• Slept. Sort-of because my sleep health isn’t ideal–yet.
• Worked.
• Prayed.
• Held a hurting child–who hurt for a very long time.
• Watched that same child become herself again.
• Prayed.
• Read my Bible.
• Survived a very palatable AI week! (So much better than last year’s AI week!)
• Had a lovely year of weather–a fair amount of rain and very little smoke in the summer. Although, the winter of 2023 set records for low temps and high snow fall. The ranch bought a snow blower to get in and out of houses and feed cows.
• Coached high schoolers–this is so rewarding as well as exhausting!
• Prayed.
• Wrote. I wrote a lot. Books, magazine articles, and journal entries. Some of it may one day see the light of day. Some of it definitely won’t.
• Moved cows.
• Helped my hubby.
• Sold calves and enjoyed the market.
• Survived, thrived, and also survived some more.

I can’t put this year into a cute little list of accomplishments, but I can be ever so grateful for the progress–on the ranch, at the school, and in my writing. What I can do is share this:

Next year, I want to live. As in live fully alive.

I’ve been asking the Lord what my take away is from this year and what to look for going into next year and this is what I feel: 2023 drained me. Nothing life altering or terrible happened, but I just feel wiped out. With my schedule and the ranch’s, there is never a “down time” or a “slow season.” My work schedule ramps up when things are a little slower on the ranch. This worked for several years, but it isn’t sustainable. And if sustainability needs to happen in our fields, then it needs to happen in our lives.

So here are the 2 things I know going into 2024:

1. I’ll not be continuing my job at the school after the first part of February. (Don’t worry, the school is aware, so if anyone stumbles across this, it isn’t a surprise.)
2. The word for 2024 for me is LIVE. By living, I need to adjust my rhythms for work so that I can be present in the moment. Awake. Listening. Looking for awe and wonder because so much of the past few years turned into surviving instead of thriving–and God wants us to thrive.

I don’t mean this as a downer what-so-ever, but rather a wake-up call to shift my life patterns and habits. Anyone else feeling drained after this year? Here’s a New Year’s prayer for us all:

Father,

Thank you for endings and beginnings. Thank you for holding time in Your hands and carrying our hearts next to Yours. Forgive us for becoming busy with things that didn’t matter and for feeling anxious over things You had in Your control. Cleanse us from the residue of the past year and thank you for the many blessings of 2023! Fuel us for a new beginning. Reignite passions that You want us to have and give us resources to accomplish all You have for us. Thank you that You are hope and peace and joy. We delight ourselves in You and Your Word. Let us see the world through Your lens and let us help others with the blessings You’ve given us. We look forward to all You have for us in 2024. We open our hands to receive from You–thank you for fresh starts!!

Amen.